Hollywood Scandals and Celebrity Gossip http://redhotscandals.com Thu, 24 Jul 2008 22:30:00 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5 en Kim Kardashian’s ass is starting to get ridiculous http://redhotscandals.com/kim-kardashians-ass-is-starting-to-get-ridiculous/ http://redhotscandals.com/kim-kardashians-ass-is-starting-to-get-ridiculous/#comments Thu, 24 Jul 2008 22:30:00 +0000 Syndicated Feed http://thesuperficial.com/2008/07/kim_kardashians_ass_padding_is.php
Kim Kardashian went jewelry shopping yesterday, and she has definitely moved past simple butt padding by going straight to shoving a sawed in half globe down her ass. Jesus. That's not even hot unless I was a perverted cartographer. Which I'm not anymore ever since they kicked me off the "Map to Pussytown" project. That was my life's work, you jerks!
Photos: Flynet
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Kim Kardashian went jewelry shopping yesterday, and she has definitely moved past simple butt padding by going straight to shoving a sawed in half globe down her ass. Jesus. That's not even hot unless I was a perverted cartographer. Which I'm not anymore ever since they kicked me off the "Map to Pussytown" project. That was my life's work, you jerks!
Photos: Flynet
]]> http://redhotscandals.com/kim-kardashians-ass-is-starting-to-get-ridiculous/feed/ Brooke Hogan apologizes for signing affidavit alleging Hulk abused her mother http://redhotscandals.com/brooke-hogan-apologizes-for-signing-affidavit-alleging-hulk-abused-her-mother/ http://redhotscandals.com/brooke-hogan-apologizes-for-signing-affidavit-alleging-hulk-abused-her-mother/#comments Thu, 24 Jul 2008 21:45:00 +0000 Syndicated Feed http://thesuperficial.com/2008/07/brooke_hogan_admits_she_lied_i.php Thumbnail image for 0711_brooke_hogan_nobra_03.jpg Brooke Hogan really hates her mom. A months-old legal document leaked today that alleges Hulk was physically and verbally abusive to his wife Linda. Brooke signed the statement, but now regrets doing so after she "learned all the facts." She says her mother pressured into signing the agreement, according to People:
Brooke's rep says: "Brooke Bollea is distressed at the latest efforts by mother Linda to fracture the family. This time they let leak out an old document that Brooke signed filled with exaggerations and fabrications about father Terry's behavior during the marriage. The months-old document was signed by Brooke at a time when she was upset with her father."
Brooke is seriously grossed out by her mom's 19-year-old boyfriend and the two are not on speaking terms. And to drive that home, Brooke then threw her mom under the bus:
"I love my mother, and hope to one day reconcile with her," Brooke says. "But using kids as pawns in a divorce is awful. Every day my mother resorts to this kind of behavior makes it that much harder for us to ever have a relationship again."
You know who I want to throw under a bus? The entire Hogan family. Also, I want the bus to constantly spray napalm, lemon juice and really pissed off wolverines. Just like the one I rode to school everyday until my parents realized, "Wait, school buses don't play Iron Maiden and get driven by a guy in a bear costume." Of course, by that time I was in college...
Photo: Splash News
]]> Thumbnail image for 0711_brooke_hogan_nobra_03.jpg Brooke Hogan really hates her mom. A months-old legal document leaked today that alleges Hulk was physically and verbally abusive to his wife Linda. Brooke signed the statement, but now regrets doing so after she "learned all the facts." She says her mother pressured into signing the agreement, according to People:
Brooke's rep says: "Brooke Bollea is distressed at the latest efforts by mother Linda to fracture the family. This time they let leak out an old document that Brooke signed filled with exaggerations and fabrications about father Terry's behavior during the marriage. The months-old document was signed by Brooke at a time when she was upset with her father."
Brooke is seriously grossed out by her mom's 19-year-old boyfriend and the two are not on speaking terms. And to drive that home, Brooke then threw her mom under the bus:
"I love my mother, and hope to one day reconcile with her," Brooke says. "But using kids as pawns in a divorce is awful. Every day my mother resorts to this kind of behavior makes it that much harder for us to ever have a relationship again."
You know who I want to throw under a bus? The entire Hogan family. Also, I want the bus to constantly spray napalm, lemon juice and really pissed off wolverines. Just like the one I rode to school everyday until my parents realized, "Wait, school buses don't play Iron Maiden and get driven by a guy in a bear costume." Of course, by that time I was in college...
Photo: Splash News
]]> http://redhotscandals.com/brooke-hogan-apologizes-for-signing-affidavit-alleging-hulk-abused-her-mother/feed/ Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt didn’t make their babies the all-natural way (Lame!) http://redhotscandals.com/angelina-jolie-brad-pitt-didnt-make-their-babies-the-all-natural-way-lame/ http://redhotscandals.com/angelina-jolie-brad-pitt-didnt-make-their-babies-the-all-natural-way-lame/#comments Thu, 24 Jul 2008 21:00:00 +0000 Syndicated Feed http://thesuperficial.com/2008/07/angelina_jolie_brad_pitt_didnt.php Thumbnail image for 0612_angelina_jolie_panda_11.jpg Angelina Jolie wasn't knocked up with twins by way of Brad Pitt's penis. Instead, she went with in vitro fertilization because nobody puts Angelina in a corner, not even nature! Unless nature looks like Billy Bob Thornton then maybe. Us Weekly reports:
"They conceived through in vitro fertilization," a well-placed source within their camp tells Us. "They both desperately wanted more babies soon."
The chance of having fraternal twins at Angelina's age (33) naturally is under 1 percent; with in vitro, the chances are 25 percent.
The actress chose the procedure (which can cost around $12,000 a pop) so "she wouldn't have to deal with the stress of trying to get pregnant," the source tells Us. "She could just knock it out."
Wow. Is Brad Pitt even having sex with Angelina Jolie? Or is he locked in a room every night with a copy of Gia and some test tubes? Some guys have all the luck.
Photos: Bauer-Griffin
]]> Thumbnail image for 0612_angelina_jolie_panda_11.jpg Angelina Jolie wasn't knocked up with twins by way of Brad Pitt's penis. Instead, she went with in vitro fertilization because nobody puts Angelina in a corner, not even nature! Unless nature looks like Billy Bob Thornton then maybe. Us Weekly reports:
"They conceived through in vitro fertilization," a well-placed source within their camp tells Us. "They both desperately wanted more babies soon."
The chance of having fraternal twins at Angelina's age (33) naturally is under 1 percent; with in vitro, the chances are 25 percent.
The actress chose the procedure (which can cost around $12,000 a pop) so "she wouldn't have to deal with the stress of trying to get pregnant," the source tells Us. "She could just knock it out."
Wow. Is Brad Pitt even having sex with Angelina Jolie? Or is he locked in a room every night with a copy of Gia and some test tubes? Some guys have all the luck.
Photos: Bauer-Griffin
]]> http://redhotscandals.com/angelina-jolie-brad-pitt-didnt-make-their-babies-the-all-natural-way-lame/feed/ Popups make me want to cry http://redhotscandals.com/popups-make-me-want-to-cry/ http://redhotscandals.com/popups-make-me-want-to-cry/#comments Thu, 24 Jul 2008 19:45:29 +0000 Syndicated Feed http://thesuperficial.com/2008/07/popups_make_me_want_to_cry.php We're very aware of the popup problem and we're doing our best to figure out where the hell they're coming from. We've got a set of detectives sleuthing around so hopefully we'll get this figured out soon. Trust us, nobody hates popups more than we do. If we wanted to annoy you guys to death, we would've just gone with Plan A: calling you up and telling you we slept with your mom.]]> We're very aware of the popup problem and we're doing our best to figure out where the hell they're coming from. We've got a set of detectives sleuthing around so hopefully we'll get this figured out soon. Trust us, nobody hates popups more than we do. If we wanted to annoy you guys to death, we would've just gone with Plan A: calling you up and telling you we slept with your mom.]]> http://redhotscandals.com/popups-make-me-want-to-cry/feed/ Tony Romo wants Jessica Simpson to be a fat country singer http://redhotscandals.com/tony-romo-wants-jessica-simpson-to-be-a-fat-country-singer/ http://redhotscandals.com/tony-romo-wants-jessica-simpson-to-be-a-fat-country-singer/#comments Thu, 24 Jul 2008 19:00:00 +0000 Syndicated Feed http://thesuperficial.com/2008/07/tony_romo_wants_jessica_simpso.php
Tony Romo is apparently the driving force behind Jessica Simpson's already failed attempt to crossover to country music. While what small semblance of a music career she has left is being drowned in "twang," Tony also wants to see his lady pack on the pounds, according to OK! Magazine:
Tony is also the first to boost Jess about her body! Jessica admits that she's "packed on a few pounds but she doesn't care," the source tells OK!.
"She's loving life and isn't trying to be Daisy Duke. Besides, if Tony loves the way she looks, who is anyone else to complain?"
So, what? This is payback for all those football games he lost? C'mon, Tony Romo, that's not cool. One day I might meet Jessica Simpson and seduce her with my funny stories Herculean pectorals. I don't want to feel like it's a "Gimme" because I ran into her at a Vegas buffet and quickly fashioned myself a necklace out of chicken wings. I'm a man who requires the thrill of the hunt. No, really, I always keep a blow gun handy. On a related note, I'm not allowed in the strip club anymore.
Photos: Bauer-Griffin
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Tony Romo is apparently the driving force behind Jessica Simpson's already failed attempt to crossover to country music. While what small semblance of a music career she has left is being drowned in "twang," Tony also wants to see his lady pack on the pounds, according to OK! Magazine:
Tony is also the first to boost Jess about her body! Jessica admits that she's "packed on a few pounds but she doesn't care," the source tells OK!.
"She's loving life and isn't trying to be Daisy Duke. Besides, if Tony loves the way she looks, who is anyone else to complain?"
So, what? This is payback for all those football games he lost? C'mon, Tony Romo, that's not cool. One day I might meet Jessica Simpson and seduce her with my funny stories Herculean pectorals. I don't want to feel like it's a "Gimme" because I ran into her at a Vegas buffet and quickly fashioned myself a necklace out of chicken wings. I'm a man who requires the thrill of the hunt. No, really, I always keep a blow gun handy. On a related note, I'm not allowed in the strip club anymore.
Photos: Bauer-Griffin
]]> http://redhotscandals.com/tony-romo-wants-jessica-simpson-to-be-a-fat-country-singer/feed/ Anne Hathaway’s private journals confiscated in FBI raid http://redhotscandals.com/anne-hathaways-private-journals-confiscated-in-fbi-raid/ http://redhotscandals.com/anne-hathaways-private-journals-confiscated-in-fbi-raid/#comments Thu, 24 Jul 2008 18:15:00 +0000 Syndicated Feed http://thesuperficial.com/2008/07/anne_hathaways_private_journal.php Thumbnail image for 0630_anne_hathaway_getsmart_05.jpg Anne Hathaway has been doing her best to distance herself from her ex-boyfriend con man Raffaello Follieri. She's even changed her number, and many believe she helped the FBI arrest him. But now she's getting pulled into the investigation after her private journals were confiscated during a raid of Raffaelo's apartment. I say around mid-afternoon the Internet will be soaked with tales of pale sex next to a roaring fire of hundred dollar bills while Bill Clinton watches. NY Daily News reports:
The agents confiscated the intimate diaries of the Devil Wears Prada star during another raid on Follieri's $37,500-a-month Trump Tower pad, according to the sources. Seeking to bolster their case against the dashing Italian, who has been charged with 11 counts of fraud and money laundering, agents are also said to have seized photos of Follieri with Bill and Hillary Clinton, Pope John Paul II, and John and Cindy McCain.
January 21, 2007 Raffaello bought me a yacht made of solid gold. We make love inside a Lamborghini then discard it like a used condom. June 3, 2007 We take my yacht "The Why Don't I Question Where My Boyfriend Gets His Money" out on the sea. We make love on top of a sea turtle then discard it like a used condom. June 5, 2007 The sun fucking BURNS. Raffaello confuses me for a lobster woman then attempts to seduce me. I now have doubts about our relationship. August 12, 2007 Raffaello buys me a diamond ring the size of a Buick. But not before stopping by a church and running out with the collection plate. He's so romantic. November 23, 2007 Sorry I haven't written in so long. Raffaello and I vacationed on the moon. I met presumptive presidential candidate John McCain today. He tells me his secret recipe for barbecue, but I don't know where to find unicorn hearts and the bottled tears of children. December 25, 2007 Raffaello manned a vast hunting expedition to track down the real Santa Claus. He brings me a blanket made of his beard, carcass and coat. Love is made. Expensive items discarded like condoms. February 15, 2008 Approached by FBI agent today. Asked me if Raffaello knows the pope. I tell the agent, "No, but he likes to dress like him." He laughs then pulls out duct tape and a wire tap. It itches.
Photo: Bauer-Griffin
]]> Thumbnail image for 0630_anne_hathaway_getsmart_05.jpg Anne Hathaway has been doing her best to distance herself from her ex-boyfriend con man Raffaello Follieri. She's even changed her number, and many believe she helped the FBI arrest him. But now she's getting pulled into the investigation after her private journals were confiscated during a raid of Raffaelo's apartment. I say around mid-afternoon the Internet will be soaked with tales of pale sex next to a roaring fire of hundred dollar bills while Bill Clinton watches. NY Daily News reports:
The agents confiscated the intimate diaries of the Devil Wears Prada star during another raid on Follieri's $37,500-a-month Trump Tower pad, according to the sources. Seeking to bolster their case against the dashing Italian, who has been charged with 11 counts of fraud and money laundering, agents are also said to have seized photos of Follieri with Bill and Hillary Clinton, Pope John Paul II, and John and Cindy McCain.
January 21, 2007 Raffaello bought me a yacht made of solid gold. We make love inside a Lamborghini then discard it like a used condom. June 3, 2007 We take my yacht "The Why Don't I Question Where My Boyfriend Gets His Money" out on the sea. We make love on top of a sea turtle then discard it like a used condom. June 5, 2007 The sun fucking BURNS. Raffaello confuses me for a lobster woman then attempts to seduce me. I now have doubts about our relationship. August 12, 2007 Raffaello buys me a diamond ring the size of a Buick. But not before stopping by a church and running out with the collection plate. He's so romantic. November 23, 2007 Sorry I haven't written in so long. Raffaello and I vacationed on the moon. I met presumptive presidential candidate John McCain today. He tells me his secret recipe for barbecue, but I don't know where to find unicorn hearts and the bottled tears of children. December 25, 2007 Raffaello manned a vast hunting expedition to track down the real Santa Claus. He brings me a blanket made of his beard, carcass and coat. Love is made. Expensive items discarded like condoms. February 15, 2008 Approached by FBI agent today. Asked me if Raffaello knows the pope. I tell the agent, "No, but he likes to dress like him." He laughs then pulls out duct tape and a wire tap. It itches.
Photo: Bauer-Griffin
]]> http://redhotscandals.com/anne-hathaways-private-journals-confiscated-in-fbi-raid/feed/ Christian Bale’s sister asked him for $200,000 the night of the ‘assault’ http://redhotscandals.com/christian-bales-sister-asked-him-for-200000-the-night-of-the-assault/ http://redhotscandals.com/christian-bales-sister-asked-him-for-200000-the-night-of-the-assault/#comments Thu, 24 Jul 2008 17:30:00 +0000 Syndicated Feed http://thesuperficial.com/2008/07/christian_bales_sister_asked_h.php 0724_christian_bale_batpod_00.JPG Christian Bale's sister reportedly asked him for £100,000 (roughly $200,000) to help support her children. When he said "No," she decided to make some remarks about his wife causing a confrontation that, according to The Sun, did include "pushing and shoving":
Legal sources told The Sun the women said sister Sharon needed £100,000 to help her bring up her three children. They said Bale, 34, snubbed the plea and a row flared in his suite at the Dorchester Hotel in London’s West End. Welsh-born Bale was alleged to have “pushed and shoved” mum Jenny, 61, and Sharon, 41.
Both Jenny and Sharon are terribly upset over what happened. They did not want any publicity and the last thing they wanted to do was wreck his premiere evening. But they say he bullied them.
Here's what really happened: Christian Bale's sister asked him for money. He said "How 'bout a check in the amount of 'I hate you.'?" She called his wife a "hose beast" prompting him to drive over her face with the insane looking Batcycle above. Then Superman showed up, and they all ate sandwiches. The End. WINNER: MOST BELIEVABLE VERSION YET!
Photo: Bauer-Griffin
]]> 0724_christian_bale_batpod_00.JPG Christian Bale's sister reportedly asked him for £100,000 (roughly $200,000) to help support her children. When he said "No," she decided to make some remarks about his wife causing a confrontation that, according to The Sun, did include "pushing and shoving":
Legal sources told The Sun the women said sister Sharon needed £100,000 to help her bring up her three children. They said Bale, 34, snubbed the plea and a row flared in his suite at the Dorchester Hotel in London’s West End. Welsh-born Bale was alleged to have “pushed and shoved” mum Jenny, 61, and Sharon, 41.
Both Jenny and Sharon are terribly upset over what happened. They did not want any publicity and the last thing they wanted to do was wreck his premiere evening. But they say he bullied them.
Here's what really happened: Christian Bale's sister asked him for money. He said "How 'bout a check in the amount of 'I hate you.'?" She called his wife a "hose beast" prompting him to drive over her face with the insane looking Batcycle above. Then Superman showed up, and they all ate sandwiches. The End. WINNER: MOST BELIEVABLE VERSION YET!
Photo: Bauer-Griffin
]]> http://redhotscandals.com/christian-bales-sister-asked-him-for-200000-the-night-of-the-assault/feed/ Sienna Miller suing UK papers over topless photos http://redhotscandals.com/sienna-miller-suing-uk-papers-over-topless-photos/ http://redhotscandals.com/sienna-miller-suing-uk-papers-over-topless-photos/#comments Thu, 24 Jul 2008 14:45:00 +0000 Syndicated Feed http://thesuperficial.com/2008/07/sienna_miller_suing_over_tople.php Thumbnail image for 0715_sienna_miller_topless_12.jpg Sienna Miller was basically labeled a homewrecker after topless photos of her on vacation with Balthazar Getty emerged. It also didn't help that Balthazar waited a week to announce he was separated from his wife at the time. So, Sienna is looking to cash in on the situation by suing The Sun, News of the World and Big Pictures for invasion of privacy, according to The Guardian:
It is believed that the writ relates to two articles that appeared in the Sun where Big Pictures contributed photos. The stories and pictures reported on Miller's holiday in Italy and also referred to her friendship with Balthazar Getty, heir to the Getty oil fortune.
For the record, this kind of celebrity legal shenanigans is only kosher in Europe. Thankfully, here in the U.S., we understand the importance of seeing famous body parts.* Future historians will look back on our culture and revere Britney Spears' vagina as if it were the Declaration of Independence. Damn, somebody should print some of my posts and bury them in a time capsule. People in the future should see how freaking advanced I was. Then they'll build a moon statute in my honor which, for accuracy's sake, should include me uppercutting a tank. *Editor's Note: The Superficial Writer, who is not a lawyer and simply hunts ambulances for sport, is making a broad, possibly inaccurate statement about privacy litigation. His assumptions are, legally speaking, derived solely from his anus.
Photo: Bauer-Griffin
]]> Thumbnail image for 0715_sienna_miller_topless_12.jpg Sienna Miller was basically labeled a homewrecker after topless photos of her on vacation with Balthazar Getty emerged. It also didn't help that Balthazar waited a week to announce he was separated from his wife at the time. So, Sienna is looking to cash in on the situation by suing The Sun, News of the World and Big Pictures for invasion of privacy, according to The Guardian:
It is believed that the writ relates to two articles that appeared in the Sun where Big Pictures contributed photos. The stories and pictures reported on Miller's holiday in Italy and also referred to her friendship with Balthazar Getty, heir to the Getty oil fortune.
For the record, this kind of celebrity legal shenanigans is only kosher in Europe. Thankfully, here in the U.S., we understand the importance of seeing famous body parts.* Future historians will look back on our culture and revere Britney Spears' vagina as if it were the Declaration of Independence. Damn, somebody should print some of my posts and bury them in a time capsule. People in the future should see how freaking advanced I was. Then they'll build a moon statute in my honor which, for accuracy's sake, should include me uppercutting a tank. *Editor's Note: The Superficial Writer, who is not a lawyer and simply hunts ambulances for sport, is making a broad, possibly inaccurate statement about privacy litigation. His assumptions are, legally speaking, derived solely from his anus.
Photo: Bauer-Griffin
]]> http://redhotscandals.com/sienna-miller-suing-uk-papers-over-topless-photos/feed/ Lauren Conrad is a shitty neighbor http://redhotscandals.com/lauren-conrad-is-a-shitty-neighbor/ http://redhotscandals.com/lauren-conrad-is-a-shitty-neighbor/#comments Thu, 24 Jul 2008 14:00:00 +0000 Syndicated Feed http://thesuperficial.com/2008/07/lauren_conrad_is_a_shitty_neig.php
Lauren Conrad's neighbors would like to see her and Audrina Patridge relocate sooner rather than later. Preferably somewhere where bombs are tested. Production for The Hills is making life goddamn ridiculous for people on the girls' street. Radar Online has the details: On the never ending light show: The neighbor continued, saying, "they're running a soundstage over here." Before Conrad moved into the house, she claimed MTV spent several noisy months heavily renovating it, adding at least two lighting grids in order to make every staged roommate-moment look like a glamour shot. "MTV keeps saying they're going to end in October, that this is going to be the end," she said, "but we don't have it in writing." On having their Internet shut off during filming: "We want some attention paid to the permits. We don't want production crews parked in front of our homes all the time or our Internet blocked when they film." Both complaining neighbors said they worked in the entertainment industry and were usually quite friendly to the frequent filming in their neighborhood, but that MTV was bucking regulations, On, get the fuck out, paparazzi knife fights!?: Another unhappy neighbor, who also spoke under conditions of anonymity with a near mafia-like fear of MTV, complained of knife fights between paps and loud parties. A possible solution for the neighbors: Faulty meth lab. (Note: Be sure to run for "The Hills." Ha ha ha, I'm going to slit to wrists.) That said, Jesus H. Christ, can Lauren Conrad be anymore boring? I mean, in these photos she's doing at least two things that should get my attention: A. showing some cleave. and B. standing in front of a Batman poster. Yet I still feel myself slipping into a coma. In fact Zzzzzzzzzz.... Thanks to David who once had to choose between gnawing off his own arm or watching The Hills. He now heroically sports a badass hook.
Photos: Splash News
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Lauren Conrad's neighbors would like to see her and Audrina Patridge relocate sooner rather than later. Preferably somewhere where bombs are tested. Production for The Hills is making life goddamn ridiculous for people on the girls' street. Radar Online has the details: On the never ending light show: The neighbor continued, saying, "they're running a soundstage over here." Before Conrad moved into the house, she claimed MTV spent several noisy months heavily renovating it, adding at least two lighting grids in order to make every staged roommate-moment look like a glamour shot. "MTV keeps saying they're going to end in October, that this is going to be the end," she said, "but we don't have it in writing." On having their Internet shut off during filming: "We want some attention paid to the permits. We don't want production crews parked in front of our homes all the time or our Internet blocked when they film." Both complaining neighbors said they worked in the entertainment industry and were usually quite friendly to the frequent filming in their neighborhood, but that MTV was bucking regulations, On, get the fuck out, paparazzi knife fights!?: Another unhappy neighbor, who also spoke under conditions of anonymity with a near mafia-like fear of MTV, complained of knife fights between paps and loud parties. A possible solution for the neighbors: Faulty meth lab. (Note: Be sure to run for "The Hills." Ha ha ha, I'm going to slit to wrists.) That said, Jesus H. Christ, can Lauren Conrad be anymore boring? I mean, in these photos she's doing at least two things that should get my attention: A. showing some cleave. and B. standing in front of a Batman poster. Yet I still feel myself slipping into a coma. In fact Zzzzzzzzzz.... Thanks to David who once had to choose between gnawing off his own arm or watching The Hills. He now heroically sports a badass hook.
Photos: Splash News
]]> http://redhotscandals.com/lauren-conrad-is-a-shitty-neighbor/feed/ Sophie Monk in a bikini http://redhotscandals.com/sophie-monk-in-a-bikini/ http://redhotscandals.com/sophie-monk-in-a-bikini/#comments Wed, 23 Jul 2008 21:46:00 +0000 Syndicated Feed http://thesuperficial.com/2008/07/sophie_monk_in_a_bikini.php
These pics tell an incredible story. A story about Sophie Monk in a bikini. Then in a wetsuit. Then stripping out of that wetsuit while taking a shower and now she's just in a bikini. It's basically The Greatest Story Ever Told, and I'll fight to the death anyone that says otherwise. UPDATE: Even God agrees. Check out this e-mail: The Superficial, That shit straight PWNED The Bible. Ha, what was I thinking with the plagues and talking donkeys? If you want to tell a story and tell it right, you use bikinis. I'll remember that next time for "The Bible 2: Now with More Lightsaber Fights." Keep it real, Big Dong G Upstairs
Photos: Pacific Coast News
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These pics tell an incredible story. A story about Sophie Monk in a bikini. Then in a wetsuit. Then stripping out of that wetsuit while taking a shower and now she's just in a bikini. It's basically The Greatest Story Ever Told, and I'll fight to the death anyone that says otherwise. UPDATE: Even God agrees. Check out this e-mail: The Superficial, That shit straight PWNED The Bible. Ha, what was I thinking with the plagues and talking donkeys? If you want to tell a story and tell it right, you use bikinis. I'll remember that next time for "The Bible 2: Now with More Lightsaber Fights." Keep it real, Big Dong G Upstairs
Photos: Pacific Coast News
]]> http://redhotscandals.com/sophie-monk-in-a-bikini/feed/