Hollywood Scandals and Celebrity Gossip

Did you think you were going to get more than a day without some sort of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull media? Nice try, suckers. Here's the new TV spot for what I'm hiply-dubbing IJ4:KotCS (you say the last part "cot-kiss"), chockfull of some fantastically redundant titles for anyone at all familiar with the series. Apparently, Indiana Jones is investigating some sort of "ancient secret" this time? Get the F out! Seriously though, the music and everything had me pretty excited for 30 seconds. Continue Reading "'Indiana Jones 4' on TV, in Commercial Form"

Apparently unable to find a scarlet letter for Miley Cyrus to wear, Disney is forcing the young starlet into hiding after her not-really-that-bad photo shoot with Annie Leibovitz turned into a national debacle. Holy shit, it's her bare back! BURN HER! The New York Post has the details on Disney's brilliant PR move:

"You won't be seeing her for a while," a highranking Disney employee was overheard saying this weekend at a luncheon in LA, according to Page Six. "The company is keeping her away from events and wants her to keep a very low profile for the next four to six months. They're trying to keep her contained."

Of course, has we all learned the past couple of days, Hannah Montana is a billion dollar franchise and Disney is no doubt concerned about losing precious dollars from the Bible Belt. And it doesn't help when Michelle Combs of the Christian Coalition starts making comments to Us Magazine calling for Disney to "reprimand" Miley:

"If she's gonna go out there and represent wholesome values, she needs to be more accountable for her actions," Combs says.
Combs adds that famed photographer Annie Leibovitz has "a reputation for doing racy things ... Miley should have thought this out before she agreed to go in front of Annie."

This makes a whole lot of sense really. If Mel Gibson and The Passion of the Christ proved anything, it's that the Christian market has an ASSLOAD of coin. They also love a good story where a Jew gets blamed for something. In this case: Annie Leibovitz. Not one to miss out on some easy money, I'm thinking of changing the name of the site to something a little more Puritan. I'm leaning towards "Jesus Loves Titties.com." Mmm, wholesomey.

Ashley Alexandra Dupre, a.k.a. Eliot Spitzer's whore, is suing Girls Gone Wild for 10 million smackers. Ashley had a fake ID saying she was 21 when Joe Francis found her and put her on tape. Since her recent notoriety from the Spitzer case, Joe has been making some decent scratch off of her name. Well, now, like most good hookers, Ashley wants her money, according to the AP:

Ashley Alexandra Dupre, 22, contended in the lawsuit that she was only 17 — too young to sign legally binding contracts — and drunk on spring break in 2003 when she agreed to be filmed for "Girls Gone Wild" in Miami Beach.
Dupre "did not understand the magnitude of her actions, nor that her image and likeness would be displayed in videos and DVDs," says the lawsuit filed by Miami attorney Richard C. Wolfe.

When will people stop attacking Joe Francis? The man only wants to share drunk boobies with the world. I mean, when did it become okay to attack someone for doing the Lord's work? I blame the Internet.* *The Superficial.com excluded. We're more like a holy sanctuary of chastity and purity than a website. No, really, I'm just quoting the Pope. Honest Injun.

Unlike Miley Cyrus, Brooke Hogan isn't afraid to show off what her daddy gave her. And by what her daddy gave her I, of course, mean her chin - Holy shit, she's turning her head! EVERYBODY, INTO THE WATER!

Amy Poehler and Will Arnett are having a baby. The irony? Amy is currently seen with Tina Fey in Baby Mama which debuted at #1 this weekend. Somewhere Christian Bale is saying, "No fair. I don't get to be Batman." But he's lucky, because I'd kill him then steal his bat-suit. True story. Anyhow, People has the details on Amy's uterus:

The Saturday Night Live regular, 36, and her husband, Will Arnett, are to become first-time parents, their rep Lewis Kay confirms to PEOPLE.
The baby is due in late fall.
The couple have been married since 2003.

First off, as a huge fan of both Upright Citizens Brigade and Arrested Development, heartfelt congrats to Amy and Will. That said, I fear for their child. I know some of you might be thinking, "Oh, they're both so funny. Their kid will be hilarious!" But guess again. If Bruce Willis and Demi Moore are any indicator, celebrity children are usually the exact opposites of their parents meaning Will and Amy's kid will be one unfunny little tyke. Or, in layman's terms, Amy will give birth to Jimmy Fallon.

Vanity Fair fired back today by simply posting the Miley Cyrus interview and photo shoot on their website. Basically, it takes the piss right out of the following claim made by Disney via The New York Times who think Disney is worried about the shots alienating parents from their billion dollar franchise:

A Disney spokeswoman, Patti McTeague, faulted Vanity Fair for the photo. “Unfortunately, as the article suggests, a situation was created to deliberately manipulate a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines,” she said.

Vanity Fair's online article also includes behind the scene photos, where the picture above was taken, that show Miley having a blast during the shoot. Here's a quote from the article:

Um, was Cyrus—or Disney—at all anxious about this shot? “No, I mean I had a big blanket on. And I thought, This looks pretty, and really natural. I think it’s really artsy.”

I put on my detective hat and tried to find the gun in these photos that Annie Liebovitz used to force defenseless Miley Cyrus to pose for these pictures, but so far no dice. I thought I saw Adolf Hitler with a machete and had cracked this case wide open but it was just a palm tree. Then why did it have a moustache... NOTE: I know you guys are probably wondering what the brain trust at The View thought about this whole debacle. Well, you're in luck, video after the jump of Whoopi cutting through the bullshit and telling it like it is while Elisabeth Hasselbeck apparently listened to Rush Limbaugh this morning and blamed Annie Leibovitz. Fortunately, there's Joy Behar to say "Billy Ray is robbing that ass!" So, prepare yourself, for the sassiest barrage of sass this side of Sassylvania. UPDATE: Annie Leibovitz issued the following statement to People: "I'm sorry that my portrait of Miley has been misinterpreted. Miley and I looked at fashion photographs together and we discussed the picture in that context before we shot it. The photograph is a simple, classic portrait, shot with very little makeup, and I think it is very beautiful." Afterwards, Annie ate the American flag then read a Harry Potter book because, didn't you know? She's a terrorist.